Free Forms winner page 2005

Winners January - February 2005
Situation: What if Internet had been invented in the 1950's

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Nick W. - wizzertz1(at)

A. Honey, hows the new computer machine working out?
B. Um, a rectangle just popped up and said my computer "may be infected with communists".

Second Prize-
From: Mavlus(at)

B. What do you call these DARN messages that somebody keeps sending me?
A. Hon, it's either "Spam Casserole" or "Spam Burgers" for supper tonight, OK?

Third Prize-
From: Loren Pawlitz - loren.pawlitz.sct7(at)

A. Johnny, what's so funny?
B: Ha! I just sold that silly E-bay program to Larry for $4, what a numbskull!

Honorable Mention-
From: Jpwiederho(at)

B. Martha dear, I am now downloading some Elvis Presley songs for our record player!!!
A. Oh I hope thats not illegal or you may be doing the jail house rock!!

Winners March - April 2005
Situation: the newspaper advertisements are animated just like the banner ads in internet.

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Dan Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

A. Would you like to ready the paper Sweaty?
B. Oh no. Last time I held that thing my right thumb twitched and we refinanced our mortgage.

Second Prize-
From: Renato Vargas - saberhombre(at)

A. Look, newspaper ads are now animated, just like banners on the internet.
B. Great, touch one and hand me the "pop-ups", will ya, because the waiter didn't bring us any napkins.

Third Prize-
From: Barry - bhmaness(at)

A. How do you like the new daily news?
B. Looks like a monitor with dog drool.

Honorable Mention-
From: Chet D. Franklin - franklinskey2(at)

A. Honey can we go to the new casino that just opened?
B. Yeah! Maybe we'll hit the jackpot, and use it to fill up the car.

Winners May 2005
Situation: The GPS navigation system says: "You can't get there from here".

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Alex Kaseberg - lexkase(at)

A. For the last time, I didn't program it to go to Hooters.
B. Oh sure, and I suppose whoever broke in also asked for these directions to Chi Chi's strip club?

Second Prize-
From: Christopher Smith - comedianteacher(at)

B. There's no way that's right.
A. See, even the GPS doesn't want to visit your mother.

Third Prize-
From: Robb Wilkin - humanitarr(at)

A. Doesn't RED mean restricted airspace?
B. NAhhhhhhhhh, I bypass DC this way all the time.

Honorable Mention-
Prince Charming - pyroux3(at)

GPS unit. You can't get there from here.
A. Oh yeah, right, and I'm sure it's going to tell us to pull over and ask for directions, right honey?
B. No! Not at all! It's going to tell us that you ACTUALLY know where you're going, end up lost, have us 50 miles away from where we should be, waste 3 hours while you play Columbus, and run out of gas in the middle of nowhere again. Right honey?

Winners June 2005

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Margaret Schaefer - pegschaef(at)

A. Is it time?
B. I suppose, but it just isn't the same without an open moon roof!

Second Prize-
From: Alex Kasebert - lexkase(at)

A. OK, standard operating procedure, right?
B. Check, you unload on the clean car, I'll get his head.

Third Prize-
From: Jo J. Adamson - jowrite00(at)

A. Hey, Jeckle. You thinkin' the same thing I'm thinkin?
B. Heck, yes. We're twins, ain't we?

Honorable Mention-
From: Paula Unroe - PUnroe(at)

A. Looky there Studley, Precious washed the yard art agin!
B. Looser, how many times I got to tell ya that ain't yard art! It's a dagum automobile and since the Republican's are a laying their eggs in the White House ain't nobody driving them thangs no more!

Winners July and August 2005

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Gary Rainer - code3gary (at)

A. Wow, the aliens almost wiped out humanity.
B. Yeah. If they didn't blow up all the deli's, they could have gotten some chicken soup for their sniffles.

Second Prize-
From: Gary Cheski - garyc_ (at)

A. Tom Cruise was great. Is he starring in any more upcoming remakes?
B. Yes, and he'll be facing an even tougher opponent in "Attack of the 50 Foot Postpartum Woman."

Third Prize-
From: Gina Quartermaine - quartermaine (at)

A. Aside from the spectacular special effects and the totally shallow acting, I almost enjoyed the movie.
B. Movie? What movie?

Honorable Mention-
From: Sharon and Lloyd - mcphee4free (at)

A. Was that a documentary?
B. I hope not or we better get the space shuttle fixed quickly

Winners September and October 2005

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Tom Erdman - thomasgerdman(at)

B. After this tank runs out, I'm going to buy a hybrid.
A. A quarter horse or one of those fancy thoroughbreds?

Second Prize-
From: Danny Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

A. So I see you made your decision  
B. Yea it was a tough call, how 'bout you? 
A. I still can't decide whether to make my car payment or fill up my gas tank.

Third prize-
From: Jpwiederho(at)

A. Thanks for letting me pump the gas dad! Wow I cant believe how much this stuff costs. What's up with that?
B. I don't know, but I thought it would give you some insight into why I have to cut your allowance by 50%.

Honorable Mention-
From: Suzi Kirby - suzik(at)

B. Money is getting pretty tight with this gas thing, huh Ed?
A. Tell me about it! According to my calculations, I can't afford to live past Tuesday!"

Winners November and December 2005

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Gary Rainer - code3gary(at)

A. I told you that you should have worn your seat belt.
B. Seat belt, nothing. This is a clear case of profiling!

Second Prize-
From: Danny Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

A. I thought you said last time you were here no one noticed anything unusual.
B. That's because last time I stayed in California.

Third Prize-
From: Alex Kaseberg - lexkase(at)

A. Should we eat him here or get the officer to go?

Honorable Mention-
From: Edward Huizinga - Edward.Huizinga(at)

A. Those lights! That siren!
B. Finally we get a proper greeting!

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