Free Forms winner page 2004

Comedy sceneWinners January 2004

First Prize-
From: David Damroze - damroze(at)

A. I thought you had the cloaking device activated.
B. The must be more advanced then we thought. Call off the invasion.

Second Prize-
From: Suzi Kirby - suzik(at)

B. Hey, do you think this is the Mars Rover?"
A. This is Earth, nitwit! That's just plain Rover!"

Third Prize-
From: Huizinga, Edward - Edward.Huizinga(at)

B. The Manual says this is a form of affection.
A. Try firing the manual at his nose!

Honorable Mention-
From: Luca, Joseph - joseph.luca(at)

A. I told you not to park in front of that fire hydrant!
B. Well how was I supposed to know that earth's parking violations are so fiercely enforced.

Winners February and March 2004

Note: we have extended the February contest to February and March. Submissions sent in February were judged along with those sent in March.

Comedy sceneFirst Prize-
From: Levi Fikes - Levifikes(at)

B. I don't dare try to chip it off his head he looks angry.
A. Good, see if you can get him to chase you to the green so you can putt.

Second Prize-
From: Dan Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

B. This happens to me every time I go out... Damn alligator takes my ball. Hey Bob, were you there when the same thing happened last week?
A. Yup, same thing happened last week: Damn alligator took your ball. Strangest part is we went bowling last week.

Third Prize-
From: Michael Boyle - Michael.Boyle(at)

A. Remember, you have to play it as it lies!
B. That's a croc!

Honorable Mention-
From: Susan - suzik(at)

A. What does he want for the ball, Ed?
B. He wants two Toy Poodles and tickets to the Gator Bowl... I told him the tickets were out of the question!

Honorable Mention-
From: Richard Zender - rzender(at)

A. Mine's a Titleist 2.
B. Yup, this one's yours.

Honorable Mention-
From: Jonathan Hall - jhall(at)

A. So are you in the water hazard?
B. You don know that half of it.....

Comedy sceneWinners April and May 2004

First Prize-
From: Mike Deffet - DeffetM(at)

A. Why does that Earth Robot keep poking at us Mars rocks??
B. It's apparently looking for something called "Weapons of Mass Destruction."

Second Prize-
From: Levi Fikes - Levifikes(at)

A. Ok make it a big heart that says "Mom".  Then I want a big green lizard on my back.  And also a ........
B. ...ooh ooh me next, me next!

Third Prize-
From: Miro Peters - miro.peters(at)

A. What kind of civilization would send a thing like that?!
B. I don't know, but I think you should sue!

Comedy sceneWinners June 2004

First Prize-
From: Jpwiederho(at)

B. Hey you! yes you sweet heart! I've got this deal, got to sell this car today! I'll let her go for $3,950 DID I say 3,950 I meant $2,850 well how about $250 down and $59.50 a month?
A. Can I just use the bath room?

Second Prize-
From: Marty McCullough - mccullas(at)

B. Here it is. The Bat Mobile 2000. It has jet burners, turbo boosters, and it comes with its own Bat Cave opener.  
A. Do you have a Japanese version of it?  I don't buy domestic.

Third Prize-
From: Miro Peters - miro.peters(at)

B. Leave this baby to me, I sold one just like it last week I mean, what are the odds?
A. The odds are not looking good John. The owner is inside looking for YOU.

Honorable Mention-
From: Kris Prasada - KPrasada(at)

A. Is it true that you offer financing to people with bad credit?
B. Yes we do. But please remember that Superman works in our collection department.

Honorable Mention-
From: Nick Wertz - wizzertz1(at)

B. You have any serious offers for this car yet?
A. Yep. Captain America is gonna give us 15K, but he wants those obnoxious fins taken off first.

Comedy sceneWinners July 2004
The old, arriving home late excuse.

First Prize-
From: Dan Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

B. Lemme guess... Aliens again, right?
A. Damn aliens honey; abducting me every Friday night.
B. I happened to see you and your alien buddies at O'Malley's for happy hour today, and they may no longer use my Ford Escort as their mother ship home.

Second Prize-
From: Alex Kaseberg - lexkase(at)

A. I would have been home sooner but I was looking for weapons of mass destruction.

Third Prize-
Suzi Kirby - suzik(at)

A. Darling, would you believe I've been trying to unlock this door since 8:30?
B. Would you believe I'm really making you biscuits?

Honorable Mention-
From: Dan Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

A Sorry I'm late honey- Mr. Smith was happy about my production this month so he took me out for some drinks.
B. Oh yea? Then why do you have that big hickey on your neck?
A. Oh that. Yea, I guess Mr. Smith was very happy about my production this month.

Honorable Mention-
From: METKING31(at)

A. Okay honey, I won't lie to you. The reason I'm late is because I'm Batman.

Comedy scene, August 2004Winners August 2004

First Prize-
From: Dan Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

B. You have a good point, your car was rated #1 in in safety by car and driver magazine, but you fail to acknowledge my point...
A. I know honey; Chicks dig red hummers.

Second Prize-
From: Suzi Kirby - suzik(at)

B. Where's your sense of adventure, excitement, surprise?
A. I lost it last week at the pump.

Third Prize-
From: Gina - quartermaine(at)

A. But Honey, we need a practical car.
B. But this car practically feeds my ego!

Honorable Mention-
From: Edward Huizinga - Edward.Huizinga(at)

A. But mine's so cute!
B. Let's get both and use yours as a spare tire.

Honorable Mention-
From: Dan Lynch - Dolynchmob(at)

A. This car's better on gas.
B. Well this is armor plated, and I need to feel protected from the dangers that threaten our very existence.
A. I told you, the Wilson's keep their cat indoors now honey.

Winner September 2004
The book cover says: "THE DA VINCI CODE".

First Prize-
From: Jeff Martinez - aloha_cat (at)

A. John, I just don't understand you sometimes.
B. Learn the code, Kathy. Learn the code.

Second Prize-
From: Mike Deffet - DeffetM (at)

A. Isn't that a fascinating book?
B. Yeah, but I can't find the cheat codes for the kids' new video game!

Third Prize-
From: Dolynchmob (at)

A. I told you it was interesting reading.
B. Yea, but I never would have suspected Brittney Spears was Mother Tereasa and Rick James' Love Child.
A. It's all too clear now.

Honorable Mention-
From: Airfarcewon (at)

A. That's a fitting title, Jeffrey...because if you keep reading it, this will be your "Last Supper"!
B. Huh?...Oh, sorry, Dear!

Honorable Mention-
From: JBurns (at)

B. I've got it Honey!, I broke the code! I now know the meaning of life! and have found the secret fountain of youth! We're gonna be rich! 
A. Great now take out the trash!

Comedy sceneWinners October 2004

First Prize-
From: Loren Pawlitz - loren.pawlitz.sct7 (at)

B. I don't understand this poll.
A. It's simple. 6% of the US is neither a donkey or elephant.

Second Prize-
From: Greg Hoffman - argybargy2 (at)

A.  Why a donkey and an elephant?
B. I don't know, a bull and a croc seem more appropriate.

Third Prize-
From: Suzi Kirby - suzik (at)

B. Well, what do you think?
A. I like them both. They're bright, colorful, charismatic and they can't open their mouths.

Honorable Mention-
From: Peter Winkler - cptwinks17 (at)

A. I can't decide who to vote for.
B. I'm voting third party, the lava lamp!

Comedy sceneWinners November 2004
(A.) Text on the bumper sticker.

First Prize-
From: Airfarcewon (at)

B. I get more traffic respect with this..

Second Prize-
From: Toni J. Boney - tbone14 ( at)

A. This car equipped with stealth radar. You can't see me.
B. Oh Honey, Look, an empty parking space - we should have parked here!

Third Prize-
From: Makayla Mensel - noriangirl (at)

A. honk if your first date was in Wal-Mart.
B. Look honey that's us.

Honorable Mention-
From: Nick W - wizzertz1 (at)

A. This bumper is filled with Anthrax.
B. I really dislike tailgaters, don't worry though, it's actually filled with Sweet'n'Low.

Honorable Mention-
From: Suzi Kirby - suzik (at)

B. Hey, those are your initials, Pete. And that looks just like your Secretary's car! What a coincidence!

Comedy sceneWinners December 2004
Situation: the old building the boat in the basement problem. How do you get it out?

First Prize-
From: Loren Pawlitz - loren.pawlitz.sct7(at)

A. What are you DOING?
B. I thought you said, "You better get you ship together, mister"

Second Prize-
From: Michael Bahr - bahr29591(at)

B. Quick, go get two of every animal.

Third Prize-
From: Mike Hartz - mchartz(at)

A. Wouldn't it have been easier to just fix the leaky pipe, genius?
B. You know, I never thought of that.

Honorable Mention-
From: kotto(at)

B. And you said I never finish any projects.
A. Well you picked a fine time and place to prove me wrong!

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URL: Revised: Dec. 31, 2004